The beginning is the most important part of the work. – Plato
NOT I – NOT ANYONE ELSE, can travel that road for you. You must travel it yourself. – Walt Whitman
The ideas we bring are not ours. We inherited them from our culture, swiped them from scholars, interpreted them from philosophers, and adopted them from others like you. The learning continues. Thank you.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference! God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the person I can and the wisdom to know that person is ME!
Table of Contents
Empowerment (Power and Energy)
Success
Stress
Visualizing/Imagery
Meditation/Self Hypnosis
Thoughts and Feelings
Emotions
Loving or Fearing
Anger
Perception = Attitude
Balance
Elite Athlete
Sports
Competition
Winning
Body Language
The ‘Zone’
Short-Term ‘Fixes’ vs. Long-Term Solutions
The How
The Life Empowerment Coaching Handbook provides you with options to choose the reality you wish to have.
Physical Energy – Do something about it! Emotional Energy – Feel it, Desire it! Mental Energy – Believe it! Spiritual Energy – Be it!
Empowerment (Power and Energy)
It’s the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance, sweeps away all obstacles. – Claude M. BristolOne comes to be of just such stuff as that on which the mind is set. – Upanishads
Empowerment means being responsible and accountable to ourselves and believing and doing whatever is necessary, in our healthy self best interest, to achieve our ultimate potential. Empowerment is also the ability to maximize all of our resources for actualizing our purpose. What are these resources? Well, let us begin with the belief in our ability and power to impact our experiences in both a positive and negative manner. This skill, to perceive whatever is in our healthy best interest, does not come easy but is very empowering and it can be learned. Empowerment requires us to become 'brutally' HONEST with who and what we are and to love that about ourselves. Our self-image(mind)rules how we perceive the external world. This outward projection is based upon how we perceive ourselves…first. And, in most cases, we have chosen to perceive ourselves through 'others eyes’. Therefore, we are living ‘THE BIG LIE’ and experiencing all the adverse consequences of self-betrayal and self-violation! Living ‘THE BIG LIE’ leaves us wanting, unhappy and angry because we have voluntarily given up our power for the sake of seeing ourselves as we wish others to see us. How sad is that for us? However, in any given moment, we all have the ability to change our perception of ourselves and hence everything else in our consciousness. What a gift! How do we do that? Well, we begin slowly…. by taking small ‘steps’ and coming to accept and love ourselves, 'warts and all'. We learn and understand that we are all paradoxical because our species is paradoxical. We are made up of all behaviours that ever were and that will ever be. We learn and acknowledge that we do not have to act them out even though we have all these behaviours within us. This is what makes us somewhat civilized. The more we accept this, the more empowered we become, the more we can actualize our potential and the more peace we will experience in our lives. The level to which we actualize our potential is influenced and impacted by genetic make-up, the release of various chemicals (hormones and stimulants) within us, the injection of drugs (medicinal and street), nutrition, skill development, fitness, meditation (stillness), health (wellness) and acquisition of knowledge and wisdom. We decide how, what, when, where and why we do what we do. We determine our output based upon our input. Oh sure, we do function within limitations but we do not know what they are unless and until we make a concerted effort to be the best we can be. Our “best” is different from person to person because we are all on different evolutionary paths. No two people have the same genetics, circumstances, conditions and variables with which to function. We all have Karmic debt to honour. Comparing ourselves to others is not part of this empowerment ‘formula’. So, in the final analysis, we all have to determine what it is we have to do for ourselves that will enable us to 'max. out' our potential. This is a life long exercise and the sooner we begin, the sooner we will attain that level of satisfaction, peace and contentment that contributes to the balance we all search for in our lives. This balance is always in a state of flux and keeps us trying new strategies and methods to help us feel worthy of our purpose and ultimately, our existence. This awareness allows us to create whatever reality we wish to have in our consciousness. Whatever we feel we own and these feelings come from the inside…not the outside. We achieve peace when we activate our power to change our perception of what is occurring in any given experience. This exercise contributes to creating an environment which is in our healthy-self best interest.
For one who has conquered the mind,
The mind is the best of friends.
But, for one who has failed to do so,
His very mind will be the greatest enemy.
– Bhagavad- Gita
If we choose to ‘buy’ into ‘the external’ having the power to affect us we become victims and feel like ‘puppets’ that are constantly being manipulated by some external cause/stimuli. This process gives our power away and leaves us wanting. It further rationalizes and justifies our uncomfortable feelings and ultimately it becomes a ‘black hole’ for finding ways to…lose in life. If you do not go within, you will surely go without. Empowerment gives us many more options to succeed.
Real generosity toward the future consists in giving all to what is present.- Albert Camus
Success
The successful person will profit from his/her mistakes and try again in a different way – Dale Carnegie
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Some Eastern Philosophies describe success as simply…”waking up in the morning”. Where we are coming from in any given moment determines what success means to us. Success may mean losing more than winning. For example, in baseball, you are deemed very successful if you can get hits 35% of the time. Hitting .350 in the Major Leagues will get you a very lucrative contract. That means that 65% of the time the players fail to reach base, but that is very acceptable and highly sought after. Perception of success is therefore relative, depending upon what activity we embark upon. Success means doing the best we can with whatever skills and talents we have in every moment. Life has many of these moments and we, in turn, have many opportunities to succeed. Failure is always a willing ‘dance partner’. By acknowledging that the fear of failure is always there, it assists and motivates us to choose success with which to ‘dance’. Understanding and accepting the ‘ebbs and flows’ and the flux that comes with living determines how happy and how successful we are in any given moment. In one on one competition, one’s chance of winning is 50%. But, we go forward anticipating succeeding 100% of the time, do we not? Actualizing our potential, in any of these moments, gives us momentary success and we should feel blessed, privileged and appreciative for having the opportunity to participate in life and competition, at whatever level we have chosen. Everyone strives to play the “perfect game’. It has yet to be played…by anyone, in any sport or in any life. Success does not always mean winning. Success means doing our best with what we have…in the moment at hand. We must strive to experience participating/playing in the present and as a result of our striving, we will win more than we will lose. Anyone, who eventually succeeds, in most cases failed many times. Yet, we keep on trying, improving ourselves with each effort, prompted always by the perfection of the process that exists within us.
I am I am magnificent I have space to make mistakes I have space to be rejected I trust my Self absolutely I forgive my Self unconditionally I am revealing my Self I am doing the best I can I am Love – Agape
Perfection is accepting oneself and all things in our present stage of evolution. It is being immersed in the process of healthy expression and being thankful for the privilege of participating in this eternal process.
Do what you can with what you have, where you are – Theodore Roosevelt
Stress
The chief object of education is not to learn things but to unlearn things. – G.K. Chesterson
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Stress is a direct result of choosing to see ourselves through others` ‘eyes’. The vast majority of our fear experiences (except for threats against our survival) are self-imposed and unnecessary and are not based on reality; once we eliminate perceived fear, which is the foundation for our feelings of angst, our stress dissipates. In most experiences, inclusive of competing in sports, fear is perceived to be real but it is simply conjured up for some perceived benefit and value which is not in our healthy self best interest. However ‘warped’ that abusive exercise may seem, we will find that it is true if we are honest with ourselves. We conjure fear for all kinds of reasons and justify our fear by defending indefensible positions. As participants, performance anxiety has more adverse impacts on our performance/life than anything else. It is imperative that we replace it with the a healthier and conscious self-love balance.
Because my thoughts create the world I see and experience, it is with my thoughts that I must work. – Lee Jampolsky
Visualizing/Imagery
Visualizing is a very powerful tool. It allows our mind to focus on something we want. Although we may desire something, attaining it may not be in our healthy self-best interest. So, whenever visualizing, always include the caveat…”if it is in my healthy self best interest”. Imagery can be used to enhance our life skills. Imagination affords us the luxury of viewing reality before it happens. As an example in sport, a college basketball team decided to test imagery in a study. Half the team was to practice shooting baskets for 3 hours a day for two weeks and half the team was to imagine shooting baskets for 1 hour a day for two weeks. At the end of the two-week test, the two halves were matched in competition to determine what control group fared better. The group that visualized shooting performed better. For clarification, “in my healthy self best interest” refers to respect for the ‘big picture’ and what the Universe holds in store for us. That is why whenever we experience loss of some kind, we invariably hear someone say, “there is always a silver lining in every dark cloud” or “that is a blessing in disguise”. And, upon reflection, that is always true. We however, do not always understand what is in our best interest at the time and hence, try forcing and controlling issues that inevitably and invariably come back to cause us pain and suffering. Spirituality is a form of imagery and is just as important for our health and wellness as the other components (physical, mental and emotional). Being Spiritual also means being happy. Spirituality, in essence, is the acknowledgement and experience of a ‘greater whole’. This experience includes a sense of connection with everything in the Universe. Some refer to this oneness as Light, Power, God, Energy, Spirit, Allah, Christ, Divine, Soul, Buddha, Consciousness and inclusive of whatever other name you deem appropriate, including Mother Nature. This occurs in our attempt to be in harmony with the unseen order of nature. Spirituality is having the faith, courage and determination to follow our sensibilities in all things, at all times.
All the way to heaven is heaven – St. Catherine of Siena
Let the Mind be in you that was in Christ – St. Paul
Meditation/Self Hypnosis
Prayer is talking, meditation is listening – Metaphysical Science
Meditation and Self-Hypnosis are closely related, at least in the initial stages. They both require a focal point and the discipline and commitment to…stay ‘on point’. They both require regular practice. No one becomes skilled in these peace-making ‘tools’ without practice. There are two basic forms of meditative practice. One-form stresses having us 'peak' all our senses (mindfulness)…simultaneously. The other form stresses a ‘no mind’ state. They both have their benefits depending upon our individual requirements. Regardless of the many sub-forms available, experiencing peace is essential during this exercise. There are moving meditations as well. Yoga, Pilates and Tai Chi are some examples. Meditation assists us with staying in the present and experiencing the moment. Meditation also assists us with focusing our mind and keeps it from wandering or fearing. Meditation and Self-Hypnosis get us ‘on point’ and into a ‘no mind’ state so we allow our skills and talents to take over unconsciously. Hugh Campbell, the General Manager of the Edmonton Eskimos and previous General Manager of the Houston Oilers, always stressed that his players should rely and feel confident in what they know they can do from the investment they have made so they can maintain an ‘even keel’…emotionally. You seldom saw his players, during his coaching tenure, react emotionally to success or failure until the game was over. They came to rely on playing their best regardless of the score. Their consistent winning scores and hence, championships, reflected their efforts. His athletes (Warren Moon as an example) simply took it in stride and maintained emotional balance. He was a perfect example in composure ‘on the field of competition’. This is crucial in keeping the mind and body in the physiological balance that is required to perform at our highest level. There are many stimulants and hormones within us that, if not balanced properly, can create adverse impacts for us. We must learn to regulate those physiological responses, especially while fearing. We have the power within us to control our chemistry and hence, our fears. Meditation is a tool that can do that. With meditation, for example, we can reduce our pulse by simply going ‘inside’ to an imagined ‘sanctuary’. This skill can be developed slowly through visualization and the benefits can be enormous. It allows us once again, to empower ourselves to become better athletes and better people. A neuro-scientist specializing in cognitive research asked the Dalai Lama if he could measure his brain waves during meditation. He refused, but sent an older Buddhist Monk to participate in the experiment. Upon studying the Monk’s brain patterns during meditation, the scientist came to realize that the scope of his study was too narrow. The Monk went off the charts…literally and figuratively. Centuries of anecdotes about meditation were finally corroborated by scientific evidence in a controlled environment.
Nothing can bring peace but yourself – Emerson<
Thoughts and Feelings
The heart has its reasons that the mind knows nothing of. – Blaise Pascal
Many of us have been brought up to ‘think our feelings’. We have difficulty identifying with our feelings because we have not exposed ourselves to teachings which go inside of ourselves to examine and accept how we are impacting ourselves. Our biggest challenge is overcoming our polarizing and judging language. Although we are paradoxical when it comes to our behaviours, we tend to only accept the ‘good’ half of our behaviour spectrum. The reason we do that is because the so called ‘negative’ or ‘bad’ part of us is unacceptable to us and others` in our structured and limited culture(s) so, we deny its existence. When it comes to expressing our feelings, we are caught in a dilemma. How can we express all of ourselves without fearing that judgement and rejection will be levied at us, which has occurred many times in our lives? Why should we risk being rejected? We buy into the belief system that feeling ‘bad’ is not ‘good’. However, all feelings say something to us about ourselves and have value. They all benefit us in various ways. We should embrace our feelings rather than resist them. They are ours so we ought to take ownership of them and love them for showing us that we and they require our attention. Most feelings have nothing to do with the issue(s) at hand. The issues simply ‘trigger’ our unresolved and unexpressed feelings. When we are feeling happy, jovial, caring, present, compassionate, tolerant, understanding and loving it usually goes without examination, scrutiny and hence, judgement. But when we feel sad, depressed, selfish, non-present, intolerant, non-accepting and hateful, we ignore the real and honest cause. We deny that those feelings exist and as a result, express them lazily through anger at mis-projected but convenient targets. We become victims of our own chosen dishonesty and deception.
The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is. – Oscar Wilde
Emotions
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. – T.S. Eliot
If we are sensitive to our feelings, they provide us with signals to either carry on or to change our direction. Having fun living, loving and playing is a chosen emotion. Anytime we feel any angst, it is time to take ownership for our feeling(s) and reflect on ourselves through introspection. It means that we have consciously chosen to misperceive the issue(s) at hand and are not present. It also means that by choosing to shift our perception of the issue, our feelings will change accordingly. Our emotions (sensibilities) are like ‘Geiger counters’ leading us in a direction that is always in our best interest, if we trust those sensibilities. It is in our healthy self-best interest to accept and trust this learning because it frees us to live a life that is peaceful, fruitful and one that compliments our nature. This thought process alleviates much pain and suffering and enhances our living and performing experience. It allows us to function at a very high level while understanding the process. Doubts will creep in from time to time but we must never doubt our ability to think and feel our way through obstacles and challenges. We have the power and energy to create whatever reality we choose. Thoughts and feelings (sensibilities) are the ‘tools’ we have been blessed with, to construct whatever experience we wish to have…if it is in our healthy best interest…right?
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Really great people make you feel that you too, can become great. – Mark Twain
Man is not the creature of circumstances. Circumstances are the creatures of men. – Benjamin Disraeli
Loving or Fearing
The starting point of our love for others is our sane and fearless love of ourselves. We love ourselves by showing our feelings, by being tender toward the places in ourselves that we do not like or that scare us. We move on to horizons that nurture and honour our deep lovability. – David Richo
Some believe there are only two emotions…love and fear. We are either loving or fearing. We cannot do both… simultaneously. Loving and fearing are both action words that we can manifest for our perceived convenience(s), value(s) and benefit(s). Loving is being consciously present and fearing is not. We are the ‘architects’ of what we choose to ‘build’. The end result of loving is good health and being able to function at our highest level in whichever activity we choose. As a residual effect and ironically, we become more appealing to others` by exhibiting peace, confidence, contentment and living our lives the way we were meant to live them. Loving becomes fun for us and for those around us. Conversely, fearing results in conflict, confrontation, anger, ill health, and poor performance all resulting in suffering and pain. We all have chosen to experience both love and fear in our lives. Much of our perceived benefit from choosing love or fear stems from allowing us to buy into belief systems that promote either loving or fearing. Yes, we allow others to teach us how we should react to different situations and issues. We must discriminate as to which teachings are in our healthy self best interest and which teachings affect us adversely and discard those teachings. Therefore, we can unlearn, relearn and recondition what is in our healthy self-best interest. It does not happen ‘over night’. It requires much time, attention, commitment and a concerted effort to recondition our behaviour through unlearning. It is just as important a discipline as the fitness and the skill training programs we implement in our physical development. We all have experienced performance anxiety (fear) at the initiation of activities of our choosing. We are introduced to activities by friends or family who are generally better than we are in those particular activities, simply because they have had more exposure. From that moment, we expose ourselves to more skilled participants for us to grow and evolve. From hitting the shuttlecock poorly, as an example, to feeling ‘less than’ in competition, we impose performance anxiety (fear) on ourselves. Our culture and society expect us to perform well without failure and we ‘buy’ into the concept, at our peril. How many of us try not to embarrass ourselves while competing against someone better? How many of us love what we are doing and express that love through our participation and performance? This is part of a continuous learning process and can be included in whatever training program we have implemented for ourselves. This is time well spent and it has many residual benefits for all aspects of our lives.
We stumble momentarily, by assuming the following:
If I achieve power, fame and influence, people will know me.
If they know me, they might love me.
If they love me, I will love myself.
However, only the reverse is true. The rest is an effort in futility.
Take away love and our earth is a tomb. – Robert Browning
Anger
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Our demons are our own limitations, which shut us off from the realization of the ubiquity of the spirit…each of these demons is conquered in a vision quest. – Joseph Campbell
Out of fear comes anger. Although not a ‘root emotion’, anger arises from stifling, suppressing or not expressing our emotions. It tends to camouflage our real feelings. Any feelings of angst signal to us that our perception of the issue at hand is incorrect and unhealthy. Whenever we experience feelings that are uncomfortable, we tend to deny them, run from them, act them out abusively, stuff them with food and/or numb them with drugs and alcohol. All our emotions are valuable if we see them as signals to change our behavioural direction. Understanding our emotions and being honest through emotional expression is vital to performing at a very high level. Although our external and/or playing environment may stimulate or ‘trigger’ an angry response, we must never look for convenient ‘targets’ to blame and accuse for how we feel. From various unpleasant or less than perfect playing conditions which may include bad lighting, dusty floors, extreme temperatures, poor flooring, being outplayed, playing poorly, poor and incompetent (unfair) officiating, unacceptable behaviour by our competitor etc., we all have various kinds of convenient excuses and hence targets, at which to levy our anger and blame…do we not? How many times have we ‘lost it’ and then, after the fact, not been able to understand our choice of behaviour(s)? When we choose to act our anger, we respond by either a ‘flight or fight’ response. This stress reaction causes an adverse physiological response and affects our performance. It forces the blood from our brain into the bigger muscles for fighting or running. The body adjusts according to the command we give it. So in this case, as a result of choosing anger and by allowing ourselves to be ‘triggered’ in our environment, our body prepares for either fighting or running away. In either instance, we lose our ability to think clearly. We lose our ability to reason. And, then we wonder why we behaved so poorly during conflict with someone. Also, if we are in the middle of a competition, and we choose this behaviour, how do you think we will perform? Yes, you are right! We chose to give up thinking and as a result, the choices required for high performance simply are not there. And then, we wonder what happened and feel poorly, as a result. We allow anger to engulf us because of our emotional dishonesty with ourselves and by being lazy in expressing how we really feel. Anger comes in many forms including frustration, sarcasm, passive/aggressive behaviour and simply ‘lashing out’. Most of these forms are abusive and destructive to us and others. It shows up by frowning, cursing (hopefully to ourselves), quick stepping, ‘steaming’, abusive language, breaking and or throwing things, pouting etc. The fact is, we are only angry with ourselves for not behaving properly in competition/life (getting what we want) with understanding and acceptance; we continue to project outwardly rather than accept responsibility for our feelings and our actions. Somehow, somewhere we ‘bought’ into the concept that we are not worthy of being loved for our ‘warts and all’, including our poor performance and poor behaviour. As a result of not liking nor accepting the image we constructed for ourselves, we choose to lash out unfairly, abusively and destructively at others and things. We are worthy and we must learn to accept, understand, nurture and be gentle to all of ourselves. Yes, even if we perform (behave) poorly. We must learn to embrace our feelings as ours rather than resist them as being foreign and unacceptable to us; when we do this we reject ourselves. If and when we are ready to love all our feelings, they will guide us to good health and very successful lives, regardless of our choice of endeavours. This understanding is very empowering. We have so much fear of not being in complete control of everything outside of ourselves, of not being able to hold on to or possess people and things. Yet, nothing in Nature is in total and complete control. We are never in control of anything outside of ourselves. This futile exercise does nothing but bring up a lot of cyclical anxiety (fear). Our challenge is to become aware of ourselves and do whatever is required to perceive our inner world in a healthy manner. Fear obstructs that process.
But if you do not have the Tao yourself, what business have you spending your time in vain efforts to bring corrupt politicians into the right path? – ConfuciusThe Tao is near and people seek it far away. – Menicus
Perception = Attitude
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Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. – William JamesWe are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. – Buddha
Attitude is the net result of all the energy spent and the time consuming efforts of all of the above. “Attitude is everything” and we have the energy and power to form whatever attitude we wish to have, in any given moment and in any aspect of our life. What a gift! A positive attitude only knows peace and a playful happiness. We must get our will power and our imagination working together if we are to succeed in the development of a healthy and productive new self-image. If we can generate belief in ourselves, we can work miracles. Change and growth takes place when a person has risked himself or herself and dares to become involved with experimenting with their own life. – Herbert Otto Attitude takes the “dis” out of disease. It drops our pulse and blood pressure. It allows energy to flow freely through our body. It optimizes our physiological functioning and hence, our performance. An example that comes to mind was watching Nadal skipping like a fighter in front of Federer when being introduced before their French Open tennis match commenced a while back. Do you think he was ready? And then, for good measure, doing it again when changing sides after competing for over 3 hours. How do you think Federer felt having been subjected to Nadal`s attitude? Why do you think he dominates Federer when no one else is able too, especially on clay. Attitude is the most empowering tool we have. We are the ‘conductors’ of the ‘music’ we create. We are powerful.
One way or another, we all have to find what best fosters the flowering of our humanity in this contemporary life, and dedicate ourselves to that. – Joseph Campbell
Balance
I am only one, but still I am one; I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do. – Helen Keller
To determine what impact sport has on our lives depends upon what percentage of any 24 hr. day is committed in some form (directly and indirectly) to our chosen activity. If we are creating an imbalance, our lives will be impacted adversely. Without a healthy balance, we will soon notice that our play and life will deteriorate and we will suffer as a result. We are designed to maintain balance in the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual components within our life’s experience. Within our 'cause and effect' Nature, we soon realize that the more balanced our lifestyle, the more balanced our outcomes. If we wish to extend ourselves in any narrow focus, we have to be conscious of the adverse impacts and effects of that exercise so we are not disappointed when our life begins to suffer. Acting, rather than reacting, is what empowers us. This is where our honesty toward what we are doing and how we are behaving is paramount in maintaining our sense of healthy balance. Imbalance is experienced usually through breakdown and hence disease. This is not a coincidence. It is simply Nature’s law of cause and effect at play. We must realize this and be sufficiently flexible to adjust to our requirements for us to feel healthy and actualized.
We began viewing the external as more important, the moment we began to view ourselves as someone less than whole. We are so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer-value that we forget the inner value and the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about. – Joseph Campbell
Aspiring Athlete
Being an aspiring athlete brings with it many challenges. Can we be aspiring athletes and maintain a healthy balance in our lives? I believe we can if we are cognizant of what we are doing and do not 'bury our head in the sand' by ignoring all the warning signs that are afforded us. We must learn to respect and honour the sensibilities that can guide us to actualize the gift of our skills and talents. Only then, will we be honouring our true nature and not violating our being. How can we be the best athlete/person possible without creating adverse impacts in our lives? Well, by being very conscious and diligent, I know we can accomplish anything that is reasonable, in a healthy context. That means we have to design a Life Empowerment custom program that fits what we are trying to accomplish and through commitment and discipline, honour it, and hence ourselves. Knowing this and believing this is the essence of empowering our life and the excellence in all of us.
A big part of compassion is being honest with yourself, not shielding yourself from your mistakes as if nothing happened. And, the other big component is being gentle. Accountability is pretty groundless. There is no hand to hold. – Pema Chodron
Speak the affirmative; emphasize your choice by utterly ignoring all that you reject. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sport
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Like a Hologram, sport is merely a part of the whole, but it embodies all the characteristics of the whole. – Elmer Strumecki
Far away, there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. – Louisa May Alcott
Either do not attempt at all or go through with it. – Ovid
The wonderful and exciting world of sport is but a microcosm of the world that surrounds us. Sport allows us to play…what a blessing and privilege! Playing badminton, for example, is a game that we can play into ‘old age’…universe willing. And, to be able to actualize the potential of our bodies – along with all the other supports and disciplines required – is most enjoyable indeed. Sport, has always been one of our chosen ‘vehicles’ that we utilize to demonstrate our character. As a ‘barometer’, participating in sports allows us to show our ‘wares’ in a microcosm of life. Much of our self-esteem, self-confidence, pride and identity are formed from participating and being successful in sport along with other life activities. We are very fortunate to be able to choose from so many different sports in this country. Although most team and individual sports are allowed in major International competitions, they are quite different in preparation and personality. Team sports require the alchemy of individuals in order to attain the highest level of team performance. Individual sports require a different mindset and a different set of requirements. All successful athletes require a balanced health and wellness empowerment program to attain their goals and objectives.
Tell me, I`ll forget. Show me, I may remember. But involve me and I`ll understand- Chinese Proverb
Competition
To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. – Lieh Tzu
Competition must be fun for all participants. Competition brings out the best and worst in our species’ nature. Which one is brought out depends entirely on our approach toward competing. Healthy competition can bring out the best of what we have to offer. This occurs first by honouring and respecting our opponents. With opponents available to compete against, they provide us with the opportunity to actualize our potential and be the best we can be. What a blessing our opponents are and they should be cherished for risking to showcase their skills and talents against like-minded participants, especially in a public venue. Hate and politics have no place in healthy competition, although they do exist. Politics have come to play a greater role internationally but hopefully the athletes know the difference, and should never capitulate to tarnishing competition for political gain. Competing with integrity for our enjoyment in the pursuit of excellence is what it is all about.
All of the significant battles are waged within the self – Sheldon Kopp
Winning
To let ourselves be touched also involves letting ourselves be scraped. – John Welwood
A serious level of commitment and discipline prepares us not only for winning in sports, but also for winning in life. Winning is the end result of a consistent and somewhat tedious training process in various disciplines. It must also include having fun while playing. It requires preparation at all levels (physical, emotional/social, mental/vocational and spiritual). Winning does not always result from playing the best we can. Often, we can experience winning a match simply because our opponent(s) did not play well. That result brings very little satisfaction. Satisfaction from winning comes from playing better than someone as competitive or more skilled than us who is playing at his or her best. This requires us being fit and skilled on all levels. Ken Dryden expressed it best. He said, despite winning numerous Stanley Cups as a goalie for the Montreal Canadians, ”there is always a way to win a game. Unfortunately, I did not always find the way, even though I knew it was there.”
You require more than winning to be a Champion. – Patrick Riley
He who stumbles a little less, we call good. He who stumbles a little more, we call bad. – Swami Vivekananda
Body Language (Positive vs. Negative)
The great end of education is to discipline rather than to furnish the mind; to train it to the use of its own powers, rather than fill it with the accumulation of others. – Tryon Edwards
Various studies show that by simply frowning our physiological make-up changes and not for the better. What do you think happens to us physiologically when we ‘act out’ our anger? Yes, we perform/behave…poorly. Conversely, a simple smile has the opposite effect physiologically and which of the above options do you think benefits us most when competing? Many of the best players from various sports, just happen to smile a lot…go figure! Their passion for the sport transcends all else and they perform at their highest level. They exude their love of playing and their faces and posturing bodies show it. Wayne Gretzky, Steve Nash, Tiger Woods, and Ronaldhino come to mind. They are the most effective and successful when they are smiling, relaxed and playing with passion in a conscious state of joy. They have learned the most positive approach to participating and living productively. I can hear you saying, “but what about all the aspiring athletes that excel without the joyous attitude”? Yes, there are many that rely solely on their physical prowess but how much better and more consistent would they be with a healthier and better balanced approach? I can only tell you that the better balanced the athlete is, the more and better prepared he/she will be when matched against formidable and equal competition. Why is there always a 10% winning differential at the top of most sports? In golf for example, 90% of all PGA golfers will never win a tournament. Yet, they all have similar physical skills and talents. The difference as they say “is the six inches between the ears”. And through empowerment, we have the ability to control those “six inches”.
The Way is not far from man; if we take the Way as something superhuman, beyond man, this not the real Way.- Confucius
The 'Zone' (Highest Level of Performance)
I do the very best I know how – the very best I can: and I mean to keep on doing so until the end. – Abraham Lincoln
We have the power within all of us to create a conscious state that produces the highest possible performance/behaviour levels for any of us. The highest level of that state is called the ‘Zone’. This is the state to which every person aspires in participation and competition. This is the state that has ‘no-mind’. At an unconscious level, we function competently and proficiently…without thought. We arrive at this state knowing we have invested everything possible into ourselves and we trust our unconscious nature to take over. Our actions/reactions go into ‘automatic’ mode verses ‘manual’ mode of behaviour. It is like playing in ‘slow motion’ and being ahead of real time. It is timeless. Our anticipations and choices are amazing. We are able to compute our opponent’s every move and react almost as quickly as they act. It is pure bliss and can be carried over to all aspects of our lives. Every person seeks that moment of unconsciousness where our perfection exists. It is experiencing our excellence and feeling in ‘sync’ with everything…in total connection… that makes our life magical.
Once you realize that valuing the valuable ensures peace and valuing the valueless creates conflict, you are on the path to peace of mind. – Lee Jampolsky
Short Term ‘Fixes’ Vs Long Term Solutions
It isn`t that they can`t see the solution. It is that they can`t see the problem. -G.K. Chesterson There are none so blind as those who will not see – Bible
Now, we have to determine whether we wish to come up with short term ‘fixes’ or long term solutions for what is holding us back from being the best we can be. Short-term coping mechanisms do work conditionally, but it’s like putting a band-aid on a hemorrhage. These self-imposed ‘demons’ will continue to ‘rear their ugly heads’ at the most inopportune times. We can choose ‘tools’ that are either visual (clothing, equipment etc.), or auditory (sounding our name {any name}, a song, a phase, a key word, etc.), or by touching our equipment (our headband, a body part, etc.), or simply by focusing on our breath to divert our fear(s). We can trick ourselves into diverting our attention from the matter at hand or, we can unlearn, relearn and recondition what is required to re-empower ourselves. This long-term solution requires a greater commitment from us because it requires more time and effort. Which path do you wish to choose? Why is it that we can respond or react to a similar stimulus or cause differently at different times? Is it because we feel differently in each of those situations? Does it follow then, that how we feel internally, in any moment, determines our outward response? And since we have the power of taking personal internal responsibility for how we feel, is it fair to say that our perception of our external world is dependent upon our perception of our internal world? Imagine the power that lies within each of us. If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track which has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living – Joseph Campbell
The How
Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never…- Winston Churchill
Well like anything else, “the how” requires a Life Empowerment (custom/personal) Plan for you. Yes, I can hear you saying “but I already have a ‘full plate’”. It simply becomes a matter of priority for you; you must determine if empowering your life can get you to that much sought after next level in sport and or in life. If you see yourself presently as ‘spinning your wheels’, or not actualizing your potential, or having something missing in your athletic or personal lives, or feeling less productive than you would like to be, or feeling uninspired, you may want to contact me for a free consultation. I fully realize that, for me to be the best I can be as an person/athlete, I must expand and enhance all my disciplines in the pursuit of my excellence. This Web Site is NOT intended to be therapeutic but rather informative and educational. (Please see Disclaimer in Mission Statement) Elmer Strumecki
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