Pleasure is our primary motive in decision making! Unfortunately for us we have not embraced this part of our Nature and choose to ’spin’ our behaviours to make us feel better and appear better than our self-image deserves. This error in acceptance of self has many adverse impacts. Conversely, seeing our Nature truthfully and honestly is meritorious, healthy and pays tribute to our gift of existence.

Yes, we are selfish. Yes, we seek pleasure in everything we choose to do. Yes, we are ashamed of that process. Yes, we feel guilt through misperceived sinning. Yes, we try to hide our behaviours. Yes, we try to ’spin’ the truth of what we do. Yes, we misrepresent our intentions and hence our behaviours. Yes, we violate our Nature and pay an exorbitant price in the process.

Pleasure is defined as…noun-a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment…adjective-used or intended for entertainment rather than business…and verb-give sexual enjoyment or satisfaction to…

Synonyms include-happiness/delight/joy/gladness/rapture/glee/satisfaction/gratification/fulfillment
/contentment/enjoyment/amusement/delectation etc…

Hedonism on the other hand, is defined as…noun-the pursuit of pleasure; sensual self-indulgence. Philosophy… the ethical theory that pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life.

Let me be clear…I am not proposing that pleasure “is the highest good and proper aim of human life”. I am simply saying that it plays a vital role in our decision making process and we should start honouring and accepting that pleasure is a primary motive…that is all!

I prefer to perceive politics as a very accurate depiction of our species nature. We all strive for power and hence corruption ensues but it’s pleasure that we seek on all levels. Power is pleasing! Politics is but a microcosm of our behaviour when we allow ourselves to risk all for power and as a result pleasure. Conversely, it’s our institutions(religious/educational/judicial etc.) that teach us to spin relentlessly and lead very dishonest lives. The end result is poor health for the masses as the consequences speak for themselves. All we have to do is check on our drug intake and adverse medical impact for testimony.

Since producing this website, my primary motive for writing it has changed…at least by perspective. The truth was always there but I, like others,  refused to acknowledge its existence. I portrayed my actions and hence my primary motive for producing my website dishonestly. I sold myself on the concept of sharing knowledge charitably. I fooled myself into believing that what I was doing will help others rather than it being a selfish act that brought me pleasure. Firstly, how arrogant can I be? Secondly, how presumptuous can I be? All the while I was spewing to anyone who would listen how we must witness, support and love others’ evolutions. Why wasn’t I honouring that beautiful and meaningful belief especially with myself? The truth is, I was ’showing off’. Being a contrarian I got pleasure about ’stirring the pot’. That is where I get my ‘juice’ in life. I study as much as I can and then try to impress others’ with my intelligence/knowing. That was/is my pleasure ’shtick’. That is my way of standing out from the crowd however you wish to interpret that. Being competitive always contributed to my pleasure as well while honouring and appreciating my opponents for actualizing my self. That is my way of bolstering my ego and identity. I always rationalized that being respected was more important to me than being liked. That is where I got pleasure. That is where I blossomed…at least in my own mind. Although I have personalized the above, I am not alone. We all do that in various ways. It is our nature to behave selfishly and we should not feel any shame in that natural behaviour if done in a healthy manner. It is in our healthy self best interest to understand our behaviour and accept it with self love. Denying it only creates confrontation and conflict with our own nature and is unhealthy for all concerned.

Now, imagine sharing all this with others’. Although it is true of me and my behaviours it is also true of others’. I cannot imagine many believing me much less accepting the truth of me. Doing so would also reflect on them in a manner that would be difficult if not impossible to accept. We have learned falsely through generations that this behaviour is unacceptable and should be shunned and ostracized for the sake of being ‘civilized’ by our Tribal Standards. But before laying this at the ‘feet’ of others’ and expecting their acceptance of my behaviour never mind loving it, I must first and foremost, accept this behaviour of me in a loving manner. I feel conflicted. If I dare express this behaviour honestly, transparently and truthfully, it will surely be isolating. If I do not, I will suffer the same pain as I/we have for generations. If this is true of me/us, what is wrong with it? Conversely we would all condemn this behaviour if we compared it to the existing standard that is fictional and non-applicable to our Species Nature. That is the ‘rub’ of this issue, is it not? Live a lie and defend it at our peril or live the truth and face the consequences…right? Not much of a choice but one we have created foolishly.

At some point in our lives, we chose beliefs that are exposed to us by various institutions and teachings. For selfish reasons, at the time, we chose what most pleases us through others’ eyes. This Tribal/Societal Custom does nothing except bolster our fragile self image through…others’ eyes albeit untruthfully. For example, most religions teach sacrifice and charity but leave our self-love nature at the bottom of that ’totem pole’. Instead of teaching us about our true and honest nature and what motivates our behaviours, they chose to teach us to ‘spin’ it…and we bought into this teaching and thus, violated our nature.  Not buying into this teaching violated Tribal/Societal Rules, nuances and accepted behaviour. Rather then demanding the truth of our Species nature, we succumbed again for selfish reasons to buy into this camouflage of our true nature. So, we choose to buy into beliefs about why we do things albeit dishonestly and to the detriment of our well being. We choose to believe that our primary actions are based upon ‘doing for others’ first’…which is simply false. Everything we choose, we do because it brings us pleasure firstly and secondly whatever we have rationalized and justified to be true for us and others’.

We have all been brought up to believe by our choosing that we should sacrifice for self and others’. I prefer to believe that we use others’ for our pleasure. I don’t mean this in a negative context but rather with dignity and respect. Sometimes our chosen cultures and sub-cultures become overpowering and we find ourselves succumbing to pressures that test the honouring of our nature. We choose this option(s) because we do not want to do the work…as in… we are lazy. We want others to make us feel loved and loving. In biology, that type of relationship is called parasitic. We take but we do not give and rather cause harm to the host. The less harmful and also less beneficial type is called saprophytic. That is when we take but do not cause harm to the host. Ideally, the relationship type which is the most beneficial and completes our existence is called symbiotic. It benefits both parties concerned and contributes to their health and welfare. This type of relationship requires more effort and should have a higher priority in our lives…but does it? We humans are capable of engaging and acting out all three types of relationships, don’t we? How many of us would acknowledge that truth?

In a more practical context, food, clothing and shelter are necessary but are also rewarding/pleasing. Perhaps, for clarification, if “attitude is everything” and most would agree, how we choose to perceive determines how healthy our pleasures are. Even with chores I stress appreciating the tools, technologies, exercise etc. as blessings in being able to get things done in my healthy self best interest When it comes to hunters and gatherers, the same is true. Depending upon our attitude determines our motive and subsequently the quality of health with that decision. As my article states, pleasure comes in many forms when decisions are required. We all like to have our egos ’stroked’ by either us or others’…do we not? Feeling good about ourselves can also come from circumstances which form our reality and how we respond to those causes. This feeling of empowerment in overcoming our ‘hurdles’ of life is very pleasing to us…is it not. I find a major contrast in life is simply good health vs bad health and both bring us pleasure. As we live and learn, these skills/talents become more honed and beneficial to our welfare.

From being mused, entertained, humoured etc. we compliment each other based upon our needs. To ignore this is folly and leaves us disillusioned as to purpose and intent. This is not a popular nor accepting way of thinking and believing but it is true of our Nature. Take a look around and accept the evidence afforded us. If we are honest we will confess to feeling pleasure in using others’. As a challenge, the next time you want to engage with someone socially, take a step back and honestly determine what your motive is for your action. It took me a long time to come to terms with my motivation and given my choice of upbringing, I experience conflict. Subconsciously, I react to my chosen teaching(s) without questioning my motive under a dishonest guise. Once I came to terms with my motive for relating with anyone and accepting that pleasure was motivating my action, I realized that using others’ was not necessary for me any longer without their knowing. I prefer to share my purpose when requiring social contact but it’s not always received well. Yes, it contributed to my withdrawing from social connections but I felt virtuous and honest with with my behaviour. It became apparent to me that if I would not share my honest motive with others’ prior to relating, I was not being honest with them. Conversely, if I did share my motive honestly, I had to understand and accept that I may be rejected, ostracized and shunned. A ‘double edged sword’ to be sure. This left me feeling clean and clear when I honoured my Nature but disappointed in myself when I did not. Now, I mostly relate with my service dog Gordie and others’ with whom I can share honestly. Gordie is a shining example of an entity that can share with honestly and openly without guilt or shame…truly authentic and natural. It’s mutual and consensual usury without pretence and it feels…incredibly pleasing!

After studying human behaviour as a passion, the common denominator for ALL human decisions/actions and our motive(s) thereof is…PLEASURE! This is not a popular concept but rather a rude awakening for me. When I awoke to this revelation, it stunned me and I was taken aback. Sometimes the truth hurts and  I had difficulty accepting it for myself and for others’.  It was very difficult for me to come to terms with this truth for my entire life’s experiences. How could I/we be so selfish? Surely there must be some behaviours that contradict this deduction? Unfortunately, since that awakening, and after many, many experiences reflected  upon in my own life, NOT ONE motive for decision contradicted this conclusion…NOT ONE…if I was honest! This continues to shock me today because it continues to shatter many accepted beliefs that still govern our Tribe/Culture/Society/Civilization. It appears that our fragile self image cannot accept the truth of who we are…the good…the bad…the attractive and the ugly! It also appears that these same institutions that postulated these teachings had their own pleasure motive in mind. It was a way of our so-called leaders controlling the masses. “Do as I say not as I do” was the mantra of the day which unfortunately continues today. Some of the pleasures that buy into this learning brought us the following: to be liked, accepted, inclusive, feeling apart of Community/Tribe, being heralded for going above and beyond, an example to emulate, being revered, cared for and  finally loved. Oh, what we wouldn’t do for love! What have I/we done with this abusive and destructive thought process?

As I look at this beautiful Globe today and see what we have done to it/us, I weep. If our Species has excelled over all others’ Natures’ it is only in dishonesty. We are the most dishonest Species there is and that has made us the most unhealthy, as well. We have chosen to wear so many ‘hats’ that we have lost control of our ‘hat’ inventory but we continue performing the lying character. And, we wonder why we are in this state today?

Let me be clear! I am not judging pleasure as being good or bad…it simply IS part of our Nature that we should honour and accept. Doing otherwise is simply folly and brings upon us dis-ease because we are living a LIE!  None of us has ever lived so much as one day in complete and total honesty. Why is that? What would our images reflect if we behaved honestly? Could we accept the whole truth of us?

Pleasure is not always healthy. What pleases us is not always a positive exercise. Let me explain! What is pleasurable for one may not be pleasurable for another but it has the same power for choosing actions/decisions. Sports can be pleasurable for some but not for others’. The arts have the same impacts. Our passions are governed by individual taste and interest. But it’s one thing to have choices based upon whether something pleases us or not but quite another to be obsessed or addicted by those same choices. I connote addiction as lending more power to people and things in our external world than to our internal world. This creates an unhealthy balance in our lives. Work, sex, alcohol, money, power, drugs, ‘love’ and religion can be an examples of fanaticism and zealotry if we lose control. When we are making choices out of our sub-conscious mind, this is done without thought after succumbing to ill advised conditioning over time. When we do something often enough we lose the power of choice. Addiction can be both chemically and psychologically based and falsely pleasing. We become dependent upon substance’s that are abusive, destructive and painful.  Remember, this started by seeking pleasure and having the choice thereof. So, pleasure is not only DNA based but can also be learned. Somehow, somewhere, sometime, we chose this perspective and without questioning its merits, we became the victim of our own choosing. Even with the above adverse impacts, we rationalize and justify our behaviour if it pleases us even in some perverse manner.

Our bodies have the ability to produce pleasing chemicals that make us feel ‘good’ naturally. From endorphins to dopamine to serotonin and oxytocin the body is capable of pleasing itself if we don’t interfere with its natural processes.

The ’spinning’ continues even with The Seven Deadly Sins.Originating in Christian theology, the seven deadly sins are pride, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, sloth, and wrath. Pride is sometimes referred to as vanity or vainglory, greed as avarice or covetousness, and wrath as anger. Gluttony covers self-indulgent excess more generally, including drunkenness. It is hard to imagine how we are able to convert these sins into pleasurable exercises but we do and pay a costly price in the process. Even as victims, we garner pleasurable ‘mileage’ and perceived value and benefit such as attention and pity etc. And a further pathology rewards masochists and sadists with pleasure from hurting/harming self and others’.

We have also allowed Hollywood to contribute to our painful choices. We all grew up watching movies about heroes and heroins that paid the ultimate price in some cases and we revered them with accolades that influenced our decision making process in our own lives. We are able to romanticize by risking our lives for that illusive love we all chase. Movies have allowed our present perception of our Nature to be shown and we can’t get enough of our self delusion. Paradoxically, our true Nature is also exposed and although we have an interest and thirst for who we really are at least in film, we enjoy judging and criticizing those behaviours in our reality. This allowed us to witness our Nature on display at arms length. Self-love was taught to be selfish and was made unattractive for us to accept. Only love through others’ eyes had any value, benefit and pleasure. In some cases we choose vocations that were incredibly risky with the possibility that, should we come out alive, we are perceived with honour and reverence. There has never been a soldier that has not been wounded on some level from combat but we risk everything  for the possibility of being pleased through others’ eyes. Film is our buffer and insulates us from ourselves.

Some say survival is our primary motive for existence. However, those that committed suicide did not see any pleasure in living, did they? In fact, they saw pleasure in dying even if it only brought perceived relief from pain, suffering and fear. That was sufficient for them as they chose to end their lives.

Unless and until we realize that all the love we require is within our own ’temple’, we will continue this unimaginable painful, abusive and destructive pattern. Self-love is a vital component in a healthy balance. Even self-love requires a healthy framework which precludes narcissism and other deadly sins. Only health and wellness should be the goal of anyone loving self. We must begin teaching this with the same force, energy and finance that we contributed to the unbalanced and ill-exercises from previous generations and institutions. Even as I write this, the conflict between what I have chosen to learn ill-advisedly and what I have come to know looms large. This is not an easy path. Change is difficult at the best of times. Change when difficult takes a long time and comes with a huge cost.

For the sake of debate, let us assume there is some accuracy and merit in the above concept. What is so wrong with honouring our Nature for healthy selfish pleasure? Why is this difficult to grasp and accept? As a case in point, imagine doing the following exercise: Take your resume and rewrite it honestly as in…without any spin. Given that, who on the earth would hire you with that profile?  No one, that’s who!I remember laughing at my honest revision. How sad for us to have put ourselves in this dark hole of dishonesty when we are no longer accepted for telling the truth about ourselves and others’. How can we turn this around with time to enable our Nature to be embraced as is and not as something we would like it to be and fictional. As you know, living on stage and playing a character is much more difficult than living naturally…we don’t have to remember the lines. We simply refuse to take those ill-gotten ‘hats’ off unless and until we delve into substance abuse to ease the pain of being. No other Species does that except Homo Sapiens…because we are intelligent enough to do that at our peril. That is not what intelligence is for. We don’t have to fool others’ to be accepted and loved. Our Nature is beautiful in its own right and should be honoured as such. Putting ourselves on pedestals for others’ eyes only guarantees our falling off with a painful thud and disappointing the many that we tried to fool and ends in misperceived betrayal. Imagine having just one honest relationship where all reasonable and healthy behaviours of each one of us is…accepted, embraced and yes…loved. What would our relationship failure rate be if we did not expect more than what we can contribute of us and others’ without misrepresentation…in a healthy context?  I, for one, would surely like to try. I know I have worked on being honest with me personally and I have, on occasion been able to love myself…all in. That is where all of us have to start first…with ourselves. Unless and until we are able to love all of ourselves, we will never be able to love all of others’…ever! Hence our Nature weighs in the balance, does it not? Only meritorious actions matter!

And finally…the entire truth about my “Pleasure” article comes from an entity that ironically is not human. He is kind, generous, affectionate, patient, athletic, caring, attentive and a spiritual manifestation that seeks pleasure. The difference is, he doesn’t ‘spin’ it when he expresses it. He is most honest and straight-forward in this regard and lives his Species Nature with honour and respect. He is Gordie…a beautiful, Medium Poodle with a ‘big heart’ and my mentor. Gordie is my Hearing Service Dog and brings me to my knees when I look into the purity reflected in his eyes. He reflects everything I want to be when I grow up. If dogs were canonized he would be St. Gordie. His spirit/energy/soul leaves me wanting. His and my differences are primarily over pleasure and how we express and embrace it. He does it without much effort as per his Nature. I, on the other hand, feel conflicted with that expression. At least I understand it now and I am working to embrace it…all of the time…like Gordie!

And so it is…

“Man only plays when he is in the fullest sense of the word a human being, and he is only fully a human being when he plays.”
– Friedrich Schiller