Empowerment vs Victimization

The above choice determines how and why we live the experience we do. It determines whether we live happily and peacefully with our earthly brothers or whether we war with them. It affords us the option of making our earthly experience a ‘heaven’ or a ‘hell’.

Few of us realize we have the power within us to create whatever reality is in our best interest. As a result we live our lives feeling dis-empowered and are very angry… as a result. This anger has nothing to do with anything external to us, in most cases, but we fuel it with our ignorance. We have chosen to take on belief systems that contribute to our self–identity. We do not realize that this choice determines how we perceive ourselves and hence the world around us. We live our lives as if what we have been exposed too and most readily accepted, is…us. We identify our nurturance with being who we are. This limiting self–identity causes us undo pain and suffering. It precludes us from perceptively choosing who we wish to be and what we wish to experience. It stifles too many options, which would be in our self-best interest in exchange for some negative experience. As a result of this exercise, we go through life believing that pain and suffering are an acceptable part of our existence and our humanity and that we have little choice. Little to we realize that we can choose perceptions that allow us to live peacefully and happily. From limiting our loss experience to limiting our tolerance experience to limiting our acceptance experience to limiting our loving experience, we go forward blindly reacting to what we have so readily accepted without neither question nor challenge. Have you ever questioned why different people react to the same situation…differently? Some choose to become devastated and some choose to perceive with a different interpretation of the same event, in a healthier context. From the time we are children we witness and learn from our parents, family, friends, teachers and religious, educational, community and political leaders how to behave. Unfortunately, as well intended as they may be, they too have been subjugated to ignorance by choice. Their options have also been limited and hence there teachings. However difficult this may be for us, we know on some deep level that not everything makes sense to us and thus we begin our search. But, we are reluctant to challenge authority and leadership for fear of being rejected by our ‘tribe’. That, is the beginning of victimization. When we allow others to formulate our self–identity we succumb to the cycle of resentment and eventually contempt. From this point forward, we look for convenient targets at which to vent our frustrations.

This cycle continues throughout our entire life and leads to many difficulties. And, while we go through this cycle, we are teaching others` exactly the same behaviour. If we witness someone go through a loss experience from a co-dependency relationship, we readily accept that mode of behaviour as correct, acceptable and healthy…why not? However, if we challenged the unhealthiness of the relationship, perhaps we would learn that impermanence is natural and that loving with detachment is not only healthy but also preferred. Somewhere within us lies the instinct to live without pain and suffering. Buddha tried to teach us that but we are still reluctant to step outside the ‘box’ to experience another option. Pain and suffering are a direct result of choosing to learn poorly and lazily. Yet, we choose this mode of operation to be accepted by ‘others` eyes’. We capitulate to the majority even if that majority is ignorant. We would rather be a part of a ‘bad’ community and culture than risk being alone in a good and healthy environment. We choose to capitulate to the masses. Hence, we become part of an unhealthy society for fear of being shunned and ostracized. And then, we wonder why we feel victimized? And further, we wonder why life is so difficult for us while we wallow in our self-pity.

We are always only a perception shift away from peace and happiness. Yet, we reluctantly risk having that experience for fear of being alone and lonely. Fear of loneliness causes us all kinds of pain and suffering. However, being healthy, peaceful and happy does not require others` for this experience. If we action our ability to empower ourselves in the midst of all this chaos, we feel a sense of wellness within us that permeates our society and even as an isolated example we can transform the unimaginable. However difficult this may be, the realization that it is possible, is so inspiring and empowering that, as long as it is being actualized by someone somewhere, leaves us with the hope to experience life as it can be that is worth experiencing. How exciting is that?